just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize
