I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
Randomize