porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
Randomize
