Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
Randomize
