New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
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