I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
Randomize
