yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Randomize
