proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
Randomize
