You're a womanizer and a bitch.
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
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