He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
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