i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
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