where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
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