Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
I think my moral compass just broke
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
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