My sheets look like a crime scene.
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
I could fuck to npr.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
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