I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
I called the bartender Mr. Intoxication last night. He thought it was funny until i threw up and blamed it on him
Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
Randomize
