she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Randomize
