What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
Randomize
