Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
Randomize
