best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
