all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
Randomize
