just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
Randomize