My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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