even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
Randomize
