Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
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