i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
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