Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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