So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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