Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
Randomize
