I like my sex mixed with concussions.
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
Randomize
