FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
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