Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
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