I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
It's Friday. Sex?
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
Randomize
