I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
So much Jack, so little girl.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
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