Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
