Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
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