Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
Randomize
