Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
Randomize
