I swear she didn't look like that last week.
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
Randomize
