Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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