How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
you never un-have a 4some
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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