i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
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