Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
Randomize
