I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
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