you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
Randomize
