Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
Randomize
