a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
Randomize
