is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
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