I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
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