Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
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