Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
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