She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
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