we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
