"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
Randomize
