I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
Is it because I queefed?
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Randomize
