Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
Are we still banned from the library?
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
