where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Randomize
