Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
I'm eating all of the evidence.
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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