well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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