Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
Randomize
