For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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